The True Aftermath of Sonic Adventure 2
by Shadowthefrog
Summary: Shadow is on Earth, and the rest of the gang is on Space Colony ARK. What happens when Shadow gets hungry?


Welcome readers! This is my first story, so don't laugh if it sucks.

I'd also like to mention I own nothing in this story except the idea, so I don't own Sonic or Shadow or even Mcdonalds (hey, I'm not Ray Kroc.)

Also, there will be only one chapter, so I apologize if this inconveniences anyone.

ENJOY!

The story starts 2 minutes after Sonic and Shadow defeat the Biohazard (the big ass lizard stuck in the space colony ARK.)

Shadow: hm, what? Where am I? And why does my head hurt?

Random Siberian: You're in Siberia, and your head hurts because I thought you were a giant rice ball, and I bit your head. You taste like hair.

Shadow: DIE INSOLENT FOOL! (Stabs Siberian with a knife he pulled out of nowhere.)

Shadow: Whew, killing that guy sure made me hungry. Where is a Mcdonalds? Wait, who am I? Oh look, that black thing on the floor looks like me and does absolutely everything I do. HEY, you there, what's that black thing called?

Other Random Siberian: That's your shadow, you idiot.

Shadow: A shadow? Why does that word seem so familiar? Maybe it's the name of a long lost brother or something. What is my name? RAWRGH! Hungry again, need food, where can I find a Mcdonalds?

Other Random Siberian: That way.

Shadow: Ok, thanks, but before I go... THE WORLD WILL BE MINE! AND, ONCE IT IS MINE, THE WORLD SHALL DANCE! WE SHALL DANCE THE GOOD DANCE, AND NEVER STOP! BWAHAHAHAHA! And with that, I'm off to eat, then TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Several Hours Later...

Shadow: I think that Siberian lied, I've seen 12 Burger Kings and 5 Arbies, heck, I've seen a frickin Denny's and a Magic Wok. Why haven't I seen a Mcdonalds? I thought there were so many around the world everyone lived within two miles of one. CURSE YOU STATISTICS! (begins crying due to extreme hunger)

Meanwhile, on space colony ARK...

Sonic: Why do I have this strange feeling that someone on Earth discovered their inner child?

Amy: Sonic, I thought I told you not to take off that maid's dress and keep working.

Sonic: Oh right, my bad, hehe. Wait, no, I'm not wearing this stupid outfit anymore, and I'm not gonna listen to you anymore. Amy, I'd rather eat Knuckles' cooking than wear this stupid dress.

Knuckles: HEY! What's wrong with my cooking?

Sonic: Knuckles, you don't know the difference between an egg and a cabbage. If Tails hadn't shown you how to use the toaster, we might've all been killed by flaming rhubarb. The last time you cooked, I didn't even know you tried to make lasagna, I thought you made charcoal for a barbecue. That's what's wrong with your cooking.

Tails: Yeah Knuckles, Sonic is right, cause he's always right, cause Sonic is the coolest. Sonic would kick your butt. Sonic is way cooler than you are. Sonic is (rants on for 10 minutes about how cool Sonic is.)

Sonic: Is it just me, or does Tails think I'm his friend?

Amy: Sonic, are you aware Tails is gay?

Sonic: WHAT! TAILS IS GAY!

Tails: I am not.

Amy: then why do you have all those Sonic posters on your wall?

Tails: Well, I...

Amy: And, how come you're always talking about how cool Sonic is?

Tails: I...

Knuckles: And, how come you jump every time his name is mentioned?

Tails: uhh...

Eggman: And, how come in your online journal, it says "Sonic is so super sexy, I wish he were as gay as I am."

Tails: It does not!

Eggman: oh, wait, oh crap, that was from the president's journal. Heehee.

Amy: Nonetheless, we have enough proof to show you're gay Tails.

Tails: But, I'm not gay. I just have a high pitched girly voice.

Sonic: DEATH TO GAYS! (Spin attacks Tails, sending blood all over the walls and Amy)

Amy: Well, besides getting coated in blood, the plan worked Knuckles.

Sonic: What plan?

Knuckles: well, we know how scared of gay people you are, and we know you only pretended to be Tails friend so he didn't cry, and we all hated that annoying little bugger, so we devised a plan to convince you he was gay so you'd kill him.

Eggman: I'd say the plan worked perfectly.

Sonic: I can't believe you guys would do that to me, now, I have to wash this blood out of my fur, way to go.

ARK computer: We'll be arriving at Earth in 12 years.

Knuckles: Why is it going to take so long?

ARK computer: Because I'm a malevolent dictator, now shut your dirty little mouth, sit down, and watch my cooking movie, your cooking really sucks.

Sonic: Wait, we're gonna need a replacement for Tails when we go to make Sonic Heroes.

Eggman: No problem Sonic, I'll build a replacement robot for you.

Down on Earth...

Shadow: AAAAAAGH! Where have all the Mcdonalds gone! I just want food, any kind will do.

Egyptian: Want a tasty fish? It's cooked.

Shadow: No thanks, looking for a Mcdonalds. Have you seen one?

Egyptian: Burger stand at end of street. Reasonable Substitute?

Shadow: NO, I want a real Mcdonalds. Hmmm, what's this? Ron White, performing at the Sphinx tomorrow night. Mcdonalds burgers will be provided? YES! At last! But wait, will I honestly stay and listen to pathetic human stand up comedy to eat Mcdonalds? And how come I haven't gotten a typical story clue as to what my name yet? HEY AUTHOR MAN, WHAT THE CRAP IS MY NAME?

Shadowthefrog: I'm not tellin you.

Shadow: Why not?

Shadowthefrog: Because hunger has made you weak and stupid, and I refuse to talk to you in this state.

Shadow: Fine, I don't need your help. What's my name? Let's see, ah, there's my list of possible names. Billy Bob? No. What about Amanda? Possibly. Leslie? No. No, no, no, no, no. Wait, that's it. My name is... SARAH! From now, on, I will be referred to as nothing but ... SARAH.

Shadowthefrog: You frickin moron, your name is frickin SHADOW!

Shadow: What?

Shadowthefrog: Your name is Shadow, it always has been, and always will be.

Shadow: Oh, why didn't you give me any clues?

Shadowthefrog: You're giving me a headache, I'm leaving now.

Shadow: Well fine, but tomorrow, when I get my Mcdonalds, I WILL RULE THE WORLD WITH DANCING!

Tomorrow

Ron White: So I was sitting in a bean bag chair naked eating Cheetos the other day...

Shadow: Ugh, this comedy is so lame, I've never laughed at any comedians jokes. Ugh.

Mcdonalds Representative: Burgers! Come get your Burgers!

Shadow: At last, I'll have six Big Macs please.

Mcdonalds Representative: Sorry sir, but we don't serve rice balls.

Shadow: I'm not a rice ball, I'm a... Shadowthefrog, what am I?

Shadowthefrog: A hedgehog. (Aside) Not gonna help him any.

Shadow: I'm a Hedgehog.

Mcdonalds Representative: I was told to give hedgehogs only one Filet o' Fish and then they have to sit down and listen to the show.

Shadow: EWWWW, fish is gross. Whatever.

Takes sandwich, and falls asleep during the show.

Shadow: mm, mm, hm, huh? What happened? Where's my sandwich? OH NO, I fell asleep, and now I don't get my Mcdonalds (begins crying out of frustration.) Wait, sniff what's that?

Golden lights and high pitched hallelujah sounds in background.

Shadow: FINALLY, A big mac to quench my hunger.

Shadowthefrog: It's satisfy hunger, not quench hunger.

Shadow: Same dif. (Munches happily on Big Mac)

Little Boy: Look Mommy, I found a giant ass rice ball.

Mom: Billy, don't say "ass" it's a mean name. That's not an ass rice ball, it's just a rice ball.

Shadow: And now that my hunger is satisfied, I WILL RULE THE WORLD WITH CONTAGIOUS DANCING AND MUSIC BY THE BAND SCOOTER! (begins singing)

Billy: Mommy, the rice ball is singing, can I please eat it?

Mom: Go ahead.

Shadow: What are you doing little kid?

Billy: I'm trying to eat you, Mr. Rice ball.

Shadow: I'm a hedgehog, not a rice ball, now stop, or I'll eat you.

Shadowthefrog: But you just ate.

Shadow: Oh, well, uhh, I AM THE HEDGEHOG, BEWARE!

Back on Space Colony Arc

Sonic: Tailsbot, fetch me a wrench, I need to hit Amy, she's being all bitchy again.

Tailsbot: It's called PMS.

Sonic: What does that mean?

Tailsbot: It means don't be around her for a few days, and most importantly, she isn't allowed to have sex.

Sonic: Why not?

Tailsbot: Never mind, just tell this computer that I don't have a big head.

Sonic: But the computer's mom told it to always tell the truth.

Tailsbot: I DO NOT HAVE A BIG HEAD!

Sonic: Big head, Big head, move it big head, I need a ta... What the hell was that?

Computer: It seems my calculations were wrong, we'll crash land one Earth in ten seconds. Please pack all necessary items such as toilet paper, pornographic magazines, and video game systems.

Sonic: Why would we need video game systems?

Computer: So we can avoid making people mad and put Sonic Heroes on Gamecube, PS2, and Xbox and make trillions of dollars in advertising. Sonic Heroes the keyboard, Sonic Heroes the cheese wiz, Sonic Heroes the Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time.

Amy: Wait, we crashed into the earth while Sonic was talking, how come there wasn't an interruption in the text?

Shadowthefrog: Shut up, you're PMSing, you're not allowed to talk.

Amy: waaaaaah.

Sonic: K, let's get started on Sonic Heroes.

Back to Shadow...

Shadow: Damnit, I'm hungry again, where was that Denny's again?


End file.
